Missing
by NikaDawson
Summary: It was suppose to be the happiest day of Lily's life, but there were many things missing. Implied SBJP, LPJP


**Author's Note**: This is a companion piece to my stories What They Are and A Thin Line, but can be read on it's own. It has slight hints of slash, so, if that's not your cup of tea you might not want to read. My fic A Thin Line only got one review, so I'm really hoping this one will get a better reception. I would appreciate any feedback.

"True love is not visible to the eyes but to the heart, because the eyes can be decieved." -Anonymous

**Missing:**

It was suppose to be the happiest day of her life. She was getting married today, to a man she loved more than she'd ever loved anyone in her life. It was her wedding day, she looked beautiful, according to her mother who adored her fiancée, and her soon to be mother-in-law who had been doting on her ever since her son had introduced them, and in less than an hour she would be Mrs. James Potter.

Lily Potter. For two years she had mentally added his last name to hers in her head, and fantasized about what their wedding day would be like. After getting engaged she had thrown herself into the wedding plans, but it had taken over a year before a date could be set. She and James had become good friends in their sixth year after he had stopped asking her out constantly and in their seventh year, when he had asked her to go to Slughorn's Halloween party with him, she had happily agreed for the first time. It didn't take her very long to fall madly, deeply, passionately in love with the boy she had once sworn was an arrogant, bullying toe-rag.

They were in love and yet if she thought about it, had their relationship really changed all that much. They were affectionate together, had the cute pet names, and were long past the I-hurt-when-he/she-hurts stage. But they still fought like cats and dogs, and Lily still sometimes felt like throttling him half the time. Her mother laughed when she told her and said that she still often felt like that around her father. And there was no way she'd ever want to live without him. Without his cocky grin, his perpetually messy hair, his annoying smoking habit, his husky laugh, his biting humor, or his beautiful hazel eyes.

And yet, her wedding day felt incomplete and not the joyous affair she wanted it to be, that it should be. She had picked everything according to the fantasy she had always had. The dress was lovely, her dad was here to walk her down the aisle, and it was a beautiful sunny day outside. Some of the people she loved most in the world were here. Her maid of honor and best female friend Mary MacDonald was in the room with her, fixing her long red curls, and James' friends were all around. Most of the Order was attending, Dumbledore himself was here to conduct the ceremony. The Order was happy to have this event to take their minds off the death and stress of the war for a little while. Alice and Frank Longbottom couldn't stop congratulating Lily and James.

But people were missing. Her sister hadn't bothered to come to the wedding. She was probably sitting in her living room somewhere with her boar of a husband, not even thinking about her little sister. She had never even bothered meeting James, or giving her approval like she had always said she would when they were children. It hurt Lily a lot that Petunia was being so petty, and Lily's mother Moira had tried numerous times to get the girls in the same room together, to no avail, as Petunia was having none of that. Sometimes Lily wished that she had never gotten a Hogwarts letter, never learned of magic. But, those thoughts were only fleeting. There was no guarantee that she and Tuney would have still been as close as they were, and she would have never met James.

Another person who was missing was James' father. Tristan Potter had passed away six months before, and James had been devastated. He had hero worshipped his father and ever since then James seemed more serious than he had ever been before. The fun-loving, prank pulling, sarcastic, goofy, artistic rebel boy she had fallen in love with was only ever shown around the people he was close to. Everyone else saw only this new goal-oriented, serious James, who never seemed to crack a smile around Order members anymore and had buried himself into bringing an end to the war. His mother, Drusilla, had not taken the death of her husband any better than her son, in fact she was taking it worse. The previously strong-willed and mischievous woman now seemed frail and fragile, and Lily privately thought she was not long for this world. The woman was willing herself to die, to go be with the man she had been married to for over fifty years. Lily only hoped she would be around to see her first grandchild.

Lily could think of a third person who was missing from her happy day. She usually tried not to think about the boy who had been her best friend for almost six years. Severus had chosen his way and she had chosen hers. She knew her family and the other people she cared about had never liked him. She could also admit that their friendship had been deteriorating for a long time before he had ever called her that awful word. He had been getting deep into the dark arts, deep with future Death Eaters. People who hated her kind. And he probably wouldn't have been happy for her anyway, after all Severus hated James, and her fiancée had no warm tender feelings for the man either. Lily wouldn't have wanted the two getting into a hexing contest in front of all the guests.

She forced thoughts of Severus away, and came to the last reason she wasn't happy. Sirius and James had gotten into a fight. James' best friend, a man that she sometimes secretly worried James loved more than her, had stormed out of James' dressing room twenty minutes ago and James had run out after him. Remus had come to inform her about it, and swore James was going to be back soon, with or without Sirius. Lily knew that James could never live long without Sirius. James and Sirius had a bond she could never understand, more than Remus or Peter had with either of them, no matter how much Padfoot and Prongs loved Moony and Wormtail. There was a deep fear settling in the pit of her stomach, the fear that he was not coming back to her.

"Don't worry dear," Drusilla tried to comfort her, patting her hand lightly. "Sirius probably just has to blow off some steam. He's not been in a good mood lately. I suspect it's because of the news about his brother Regulus. They'll be back. My boys have hot-tempers but they can never stay mad long. They'll be acting like nothing happened in no time." Moira Evans looked at the older woman skeptically, and Lily knew that she was blaming Sirius, whom she'd never met, for potentially ruining her daughter's wedding day.

Lily knew why Sirius was unhappy though. And most of it had nothing to do with Regulus Black. It broke her heart to see him this way, but at the same time it terrified her. Sirius loved James. Not, you're-my-best friend-you're-the-brother I never had love. No, Sirius loved James as more than a brother. He didn't think anyone knew, but she did. So did Remus. She would catch him staring at the two boys sometimes.

She was sure Sirius blamed her for taking James away from him, but she hadn't, not really. James still couldn't really spend more than a few hours away from the other boy, before it seemed like he went into some sort of withdrawal. She worried all the time that James would leave her for Sirius, but she wasn't sure he even knew about Sirius' feelings. She loved her husband's best friend like a brother, and she believed that Sirius liked her enough that he would never make a move on her fiancée, or try to stop her and James from getting married. And she knew that them together was breaking his heart.

"Everything will be fine," her mother muttered, wringing her hands and glaring at the door as if the source of her anger was right behind it and could feel the angry gaze.

"I know," Lily whispered, trying to sound confident. Mary smiled at Lily and stopped fixing her hair. Lily believed her friend's face looked to joyful right now, she was probably covering up a worried look.

"I think I want to finish up by myself," she told the three other females in the room. They looked surprised but quickly consented. All but her mother, who shot her a frown and looked like she wanted to argue. Lily just waved her off. As soon as they left the room Lily collapsed in one of the chairs, head in her hands but no tears in her eyes. What if James didn't come back?

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this," Harold Evans asked his daughter, "The two of you are only nineteen flower. Maybe you should wait a few more years." The red-haired man had a teasing smile on his face.

"Daddy…"Lily teased back, a happy smile only slightly forced on to her face. Inside she still felt torn up, but she would never let any of it show. James had come back. They were getting married in a few minutes and she would spend the rest of her life with him. The doors opened and she straightened her back, arm in arm with her father.

They started down the aisle and Lily heard someone remark that she was glowing. James was standing at the end of the aisle, long hair still in an out of control mess that she really adored and clearly uncomfortable in the expensive, formal dress robes he was wearing. Sirius was next to him, dressed much the same, looking casually handsome. He had a sad look in his eyes, but a smile on his face.

Her father handed her to James when Dumbledore asked who gave her away, taking his seat next to her mother. She gripped his calloused hand in hers. He had a gentle, loving look on his beautiful face, eyes locked on hers. She gazed back at him, and forced her eyes not to stray to the best man's face. Only one thought was running through her mind right now. _Thank you for letting me keep him, Padfoot._


End file.
